2010 marks the 10th anniversary of my high school graduation. I swore ten years ago that I would not attend the 10-year reunion. Anything beyond that was still uncertain. But then tenth would definitely be a negative. My reasoning was that I never really cared for anyone in high school, therefore giving me no reason to want to see any of those people ever again.
Now that we are ten years away, things are much different. Not only because ten years is a long time, but also because of social networking sites like Facebook that keep everyone in touch with each other, almost nullifying the idea of the reunion as we know it. New technology is constantly pushing old technology out of the way.
And while things like Facebook satisfy my need to be nosy and see how people are doing, I find that I am uncertain as to whether or not attending a reunion would be a good idea, while ten years ago it definitely was not.
A few days ago, I was being nosy and found out that there has been a reunion scheduled. This was news to me. And also, it does not seem that I was invited. I’ve read status messages talking about who is going to be in town and who can’t make it but would love to, and it got me thinking and remembering why I didn’t want to go in the first place. Because nobody wanted me there.
I realize it is a very self-deprecating statement that screams insecurity and paranoia, but it really isn’t. It was a wake up call. The reason I wasn’t popular then and why I’m obviously not popular with them now is that I really didn’t want to be. I could have made the effort and gone the extra mile, but it would not have been genuine. The friends I have now are my friends because they are honest with me, and I’m honest with them, and we have actual things in common. And everyone is real. And to me, that is far more important than the fake people I went to high school with.
For now, I’ll sit on the outside, looking in, being nosy, exchanging polite comments and greetings.