Kerri, with a K

trying to be me


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Thoughts…

Sigh.

I should be sleeping.  Or cleaning.  But I’m wide awake.  I have some annoying life insurance physical exam at 10:30 this morning, and I have very little interest in it.  But I’ll do it and get it over with.

Otherwise, I’m taking a short pause from the A to Z Challenge.  Just a post about babies.  Which I could have done two days ago, under the letter B, but I didn’t really think of these things until yesterday.

I have a son.  He’s almost 10 months old.  And he is the best thing ever.  And Hubs and I tried for nearly two years to conceive before the Boy blessed us.  And now I’m wondering if we should be doing it again.

A friend of mine back home, who was pregnant the same time I was, just announced that they are expecting baby #2.  I couldn’t be happier for them.  I wish them all the best.  But it got me thinking about whether I want to do it again.  I guess deep down, I would love to have another child.  And if God wants to bless us with another child, so be it.  I won’t be upset.  But the question is: are we supposed to have another child?  Maybe not now, but someday?  I don’t want to put any silly limits on myself with age or time between kids and whatnot.  And if it happens, that’s the way it was supposed to be.  But is it supposed to be?  I know we won’t know until we know.  And we haven’t been trying.  And we’ve talked about waiting a little bit for the Boy to get a little older.

But the thing is, I hate the questions.  I hated the questions when I was single about when I was getting married.  And the ones when I was married about when we’re having kids.  And now that we have a kid, the questions that ask if we’re having more.  I think it’s a terribly personal question, but people love to ask anyway.  And I don’t really have a polite, classy, diplomatic response.  I usually answer, “we don’t know yet,” or something of the like.

I guess what I’m saying is that I would love to have another baby, but if it’s not meant to be I won’t be upset because that is the way it is supposed to be.  But if we end up being blessed again, I know I’ll be over the moon.

I just don’t like the questions that put you on the spot.

Also, I think I’m feeling a little pressure because both my parents mentioned it the other day.  In a very direct, very obvious way.  I told my mother that I didn’t want any more, and that one was enough, and she was sad.  But my default mode when dealing with my mother is to not give her any hope, because she WILL take it too far.  And then it’s sad if I have to let her down.

I don’t know.  Just a few things I’m thinking about.

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C is for… Challenges

The first word that came to mind when I thought of the letter C for today was Challenges.  Then “calendar.”  Then “cookies.”  Gotta love the flow there.  But “challenges” came first, and it’s been weighing pretty heavily on my mind.

I think in life we have so many challenges to face, so many struggles to go through to get to where we’re supposed to be.  I think it’s our challenges that help shape who we are.  If we didn’t go through the things we did, would we really be the people we are today?

And also, what defines a challenge?

Hubs and I have struggled a great deal since we got together.  Mostly because there have been many obstacles to get over so we could get to where we are today.  We moved, got married, had a baby, bought a house, lived in hotels why trying to buy said house.  There is no challenge that we’ve faced that we haven’t overcome.

But that brings to mind some of my current challenges in life.  Keeping the house clean.  Teaching the Boy everything.  Being more social.  All are things I find difficult, but I tackle on a daily basis because I know there is nothing but benefits on the other side.  But there are some that are just plain near impossible, and it’s hard to see their benefit until you get to the other side.

So.  Challenges.

What are some challenges you’ve faced today?  This week?  In life?


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On Being Tolerant…

Hubs and I are taking a class/workshop called 7 Steps to Becoming Financially Free that is being offered through our Church Parish.  We had looked into it last year, but neither of our work schedules really allowed us the time to do anything extra.

This year?  Much different.

The basis of the class is obviously becoming financially free but how to do so but looking at God’s plan for us.  There’s lots of Scripture to be read and plenty of religious concepts and theories to be considered when going through the text and workbooks.  And to be perfectly honest, I’m surprised at how much history is rooted in this class through the Bible.  I’m even thinking about taking an actual Bible study course, but that is a long way off for now.

ANYway… Initially, I was going to be taking the workshop alone, as Hubs schedule is still crazy, and whatever I learned I would share with him as we go through it in class.  Things changed, as they often do, and he was able to attend this week.

Last week I had ranted about Dude in the class.  Total misogynist and loves listening to himself talk, and it’s usually about nothing.  I had mentioned all this to Hubs from last week’s class, and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about, but I think it’s safe to say he got a good idea of what I meant this week.

No matter what we were talking about, Dude insisted on putting in his two cents and being argumentative about absolutely everything.  He was even arguing with the teacher, claiming that the Bible said no such thing.  At which point the teacher pulled out the Bible, flipped to a page and showed him EXACTLY where the words were written.  Score.

Other than being argumentative, he spoke quite a bit on how all women MUST buy shoes in excess to match their purses, which were also purchased in excess.  He also spoke about how we shouldn’t help homeless or needy people because they are all looking for a quick buck to spend on beer or wine or weed.  EVERYONE spoke up then in defense of helping the homeless or less fortunate, because you just never know what someone else’s situation is.

I think it’s safe to say that I keep my frustration to myself when dealing with Dude.  It will do no good to argue back, although I did have a great point or two that I made to disprove his anti-everything outlook.  It can be difficult dealing with people who just don’t get it, or just don’t want to.  They claim to be enlightened, but the only thing that may be enlightening to them is the illumination of a light bulb.

But other than Sir Douchebag, the class is great, and I really think we’re going to take some good things and practices away from this, even if we don’t actually become financially free.

What’s your take on dealing with unruly people who insist on objecting to everything just to object?

What’s your take on becoming financially free?