Kerri, with a K

trying to be me

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Newsletter: Month Ten

Dear Logan Mateo,

I can’t believe you’re 10 months old.  And in nine short weeks, you’ll be 1.  Every time I look at the calendar, more time has passed and you just keep changing and growing.  And you keep doing new things that make us laugh.  You really are my favorite little guy.

Last month we took a very long car trip to visit your Grammie and Papa in Florida, and you were really a trooper.  A 12+ hour car ride is hard for adults, but I can imagine it was much harder for you, as displayed every day now when you fuss more about getting in your carset than you used to.  But I suspect the more we do it, the easier it will be.  We just won’t be doing any super long car rides for awhile.

Your Grammie and Papa absolutely LOVED you.  We went to the beach, and you stuck your toes in the Gulf of Mexico at Fort Desoto, but the water was a little overwhelming for you, so you and I played on the beach in the sand.  And then you ate the sand.  But you still had fun running around and playing with Grammie and Papa.

You also had your first ride in a swing in Florida.  We stopped in St. Augustine at a park that had a merry-go-round, which you did not love.  And you sat in the swing.  And you kicked your feet and laughed.  And it was your favorite thing.

And you’ve been doing more mimicking lately.  You laugh when we laugh.  I’m not sure if it’s a real laugh or a fake copied laugh, but it’s certainly funny.  And you seem happy about doing it.

Oh, and you’ve been waving.  I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’ve started waving.  You don’t wave to everyone.  Mostly to that awesome baby in the mirror, and to mom and dad sometimes, and if you’re in the mood, one of the nice ladies at Church.  And it’s so cute.

This last week, you’ve been doing something totally new and different and cracks me up every time you do it.  And you seem to enjoy it also.  You love the big pillows on our bed, so you try to pick one up, and pull it back on top of you as you fall backwards laughing.  This is the kind of thing I need a video for because I honestly die laughing every time you do it.

I have to say that out of all the funny, cute or amazing things you do, you are still a little ladies man.  In fact, all dressed up in your Easter suit on Easter Sunday, you found yourself a new girlfriend.  She’s older than you, but only by four months.  She held your hand, gave you a hug, and then kissed you.  I thought I’d have a few more years before I’d have to worry about you dating, but this was just plain adorable.

You’ve been so great and so adaptable, even when it’s been hard and we’ve been so busy.  Your dad and I had a real estate seminar, and we were able to work it out so we could go in shifts and someone could stay with you.  Only one day it didn’t work, and we needed a babysitter.  For the second time in 10 months.  And you were great.  It’s understandable that you were a little sad and wasn’t really sure what was going on, even though I talked to you about it beforehand.  You’re still just a little guy, and you’re still learning, and it was hard.  But your babysitter, A, loved you anyway.  And we made sure to thank her the next chance we got.  And you got her a cute little stuffed bunny to thank her, too.

So, your first Easter was a success, new girlfriend and all.  Oh!  And we played bubbles for the first time!  Meemaw sent you a box of great things, including a tshirt, some toys, and bubbles.  So, of course, we had to play with them.  At first you weren’t sure what to think, but once you realized that those crazy bubbles were getting away, they were so funny.  I’m not sure who was more excited playing bubbles, you or me.  I know I can’t wait to play bubbles again and I can’t wait until I can teach you how to blow bubbles.  I’m sure you’ll love it.

You’ve also been so great at the baseball games we’ve gone to.  Two in the last week.  The second was a hard game because it didn’t start until 7pm, which was awfully close to bedtime.  But we got there a little after 5, and kept you entertained the whole time.  You loved watching the Tides Band

And then bonding with Gramma sitting next to us when she gave you a french fry.  And then another.  You are quite the little charmer, and everyone you meet comments on how happy you are.  And I agree.  You never get sad or fussy unless there’s a really good reason.  Or you’re tired.

I know we keep you busy, and you do so well just going with the flow.  Logan Mateo, you are such a great kid.  And you’re so happy.  And I can’t wait to watch you continue to grow and learn.  It’s been so amazing so far, and you keep the surprises coming.




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the one in which I vent frustration for the purposes of venting and letting go

You can’t please all of the people all of the time.  You can’t even please some of the people some of the time.  I might want to stop trying so hard.

I’m not a pool person.  The fact that we are living in a hotel with an indoor pool does not speak to that fact.

If house hunting is for the birds, I must be one.  Except, it’s not fun anymore.  And I need it to be finished.

I have a problem with grudge-holders.  And I can’t stand people who hold onto things and do not tell me when they are upset, only to throw it back in my face later.  Even though I may have done it once or twice.  I’m a hypocrite, what up.

I’m feeling the mommy-stress in some areas.  I love my son.  But I sometimes wish I was better at this mommy thing.  And I’m sure there are some out there that think I’m doing everything wrong, when in fact I am just doing the best I can.

I hate the internet in the hotel.  It runs too slow and is keeping me from updating my iPhone to iOS 5.

There are few things in life that really hurt my feelings: saying I don’t care about my son and watching my dad have his feelings hurt.  I know I might not be able to understand how I may offend or insult, but don’t take it out on my father, or my family.

I need an endgame.  And I need to feel like everything I’m doing to get there is worth it.

I forgot how much I missed watching live TV.  The downside is that I also miss my DVR and because the internet is so slow, I can’t easily watch videos on the internet.

Avoidance benefits no one.  Except the on who is doing the avoiding.  Temporarily.

Don’t hate just because I like the Jersey Shore.  I’m allowed a guilty pleasure show.

It’s been 5 days, and I’m tired of living in a hotel.

I feel like I want to give up and surrender, but I do not want to be defeated.  The madness must continue until it’s done.

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Mommy Win!

We’ve been having a few really long days for the last couple of days.  Ones where Logan eats a lot, and frequently, and doesn’t sleep long because he’s waking up to eat.  And sometimes when he’s awake and gets fussy, there is no solution other than to try nursing.  And that usually only works for about half the time. 

Of all the things I knew about babies and out of all the things I’ve read, I KNEW that babies enjoy being rocked to sleep.  I even put a gliding chair and ottoman on my baby shower registry, thinking Logan would be in my arms and we would rock together.  Not so much.  Usually, yes.  But sometimes we sit on the couch and just cuddle.

But out of all of those things, it never occurred to me that Logan would enjoy being in his carrier in the chair and just rocking.  And I KNEW babies like to be rocked to sleep.

He was so fussy, and I was trying to get dinner ready for Hubs and the rest of what he needed for work tonite, and it just dawned on my to put Logan in the chair.  And within ten minutes he was out. 

Total Mommy WIN.

I swear, I’ll get the hang of this parenting thing.  Someday.  Maybe never.